Thursday, August 26, 2010

More Jeremy and Aaron, finally.

Aaron crab-walked across the couch in Jeremy's apartment, then stopped to stretch his legs across Jeremy's lap. He ended up sitting sideways on the older boy's lap, somewhat like a little kid would on Santa's.

"Hi," he said brightly, leaning against Jeremy and looking up at him through the hair in his eyes.

"Hi," Jeremy replied, brushing the hair away. "How can you stand to have it hang in your face like that all the time?"

Aaron shrugged and shook his head so the hair fell back. Laughing at Jeremy's displeased look, he said,

"I dunno. 'Cause I look cute with it like that?"

"You don't sound so sure," Jeremy said, wondering if he should get Aaron off his lap.

"Well, I don't know if it does or not," Aaron told him very matter-of-factly, "because I can't tell if it's just me that likes it. Do you think I look cute with it like this?"

Jeremy looked at Aaron oddly for a moment. Was the boy trying to trick him into saying something that might betray any feelings he may-or-may-not have harbored for him? Or was he just asking because Aaron had no tact? He couldn't be sure.

"It should only matter what you think, though," Jeremy dodged. "Not what I or anyone else does."

Aaron pouted, but again, Jeremy couldn't be sure why.

"I've never fully agreed with that," Aaron muttered. "I mean, yeah, you should be doing what you do because you want to, but is it really wrong to wonder what the people you care about would think? Like, if you were going to steal something? Or try some of that scream stuff you like listening to?" Jeremy smirked.

"You like listening to it, too, Aaron."

Aaron waved his hand, dismissing the fact. "Yeah, yeah, but that's beside my point. Is it bad to wonder what the people you care about think? Those are the only opinions I'd ever worry about myself. Yours and...uh...some..somebody else's, too."

Aaron seemed embarrassed by not being able to come up with anyone else. Jeremy suppressed a spurt of giggles that was bubbling up. He didn't want to laugh because of whatever reason Aaron's poor insecure mind had come up with; no, he just thought that the blushing boy on his lap was kind of adorable. Upon realizing this himself, he felt a blanket of dread cover him. Even though Aaron was only a year and a half younger than him, it made Jeremy feel like an old pervert to think that because Aaron was so much smaller than him.

"I don't know if it's bad, Aaron," Jeremy replied after pushing these thoughts aside, "but don't you think it'd be less stressful to just do what you wanted just for you? Without worrying what anyone else thinks?"

Aaron shrugged, looking down at the floor without another word. Jeremy was worried that he'd said something wrong, but he wasn't sure what to do. Had Aaron really felt that his words were true? Was he hurt by Jeremy's questioning them? He'd really just been trying to get his mind off the picture of him as a Nabokov-esque old man and thought that it'd be the right thing to say. He'd just wanted to keep the conversation going. Jeremy really didn't think he could stand Aaron being mad at him, but not because it'd hurt him. Well, it would, but not as much as Aaron's melodramatic actions would annoy him. It'd happened in the past a couple of times and Jeremy really didn't want to repeat the experience.

A sudden tremor against his chest pulled Jeremy from his thoughts. He looked down and saw that Aaron was shaking, rather violently, with sobs.

"Wha-- Aaron, what's wrong?" Jeremy exclaimed, gently holding the boy's face and turning it up to his own. Aaron's face was soaked with the waterworks and he was looking at Jeremy pleadingly.

"I j-ju--I just realized...i-if you ever luh...leave...I'll...I'll have nobody!" Aaron managed to choke out. "I d-don't care what...what anyone b-b-but you thinks...so if you l-leave, I'll have no one...no one I c-care about!" The sobs' intensity doubled after this and Aaron started to have troubles breathing.

Jeremy was frozen. He had no idea what to do. Aaron had never done this with him before. He actually had very little experience with tears in any manner. His hands were away from Aaron in a "WTH!" fashion of shock and he felt that he should probably change that, but he wasn't sure how. Hesitantly, he put his arms around Aaron and held him tight.

"That's..that's not true, Aaron," Jeremy told him shakily. "You have more people that you care about. What about your parents?"

Aaron snorted through his tears and started to say retort but Jeremy stopped him.

"Stop saying whatever you're going to say," he said firmly. "You and I both know you love them, whatever you might say. They're your parents, Aaron. They haven't done anything bad to you at all. Even I still love my parents."

Aaron was silent. Obviously Jeremy had gotten his point across. He was unsure whether he should continue or not, but felt that he had more to say, so he did.

"You shouldn't worry about that stuff, anyway," he said, still holding Aaron tight. "There's nothing you can do about me leaving, so it's silly. And anyway--" He loosened his hold and turned Aaron's face up towards his with one hand. "--I don't plan on going anywhere. You're great, kid. Why would I leave?"

Aaron's lip trembled and the tears that had slowed down started up again, though not as abundantly as they had before. He threw his arms around Jeremy's neck and held on so tightly Jeremy started to cough.

"Th-thank you, Jeremy!" he cried. "Thank you s-so muh..much!"

Jeremy smiled weakly and hugged Aaron with a little relieved sigh. "Can't breathe all too well, Aaron," he wheezed, secretly really glad that the boy needed him so. Things were good.

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I really can't express how much I love these two.
(Also it took me three hours to write this, with all the interruptions I had. :O Did not realize.)

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