SO MUCH INSPIRATION TODAY

SERIOUSLY

~

Rhythms and beats weaving together
Bodies melting
Mixing
Being

Hold me now
Before it's over
Don't let go
Or we'll fall forever

Our breathes and shirt tails are catching
Fingers linking
Tracing
Feeling

Hold me now
Before it's over
Don't let go
Or we'll fall forever

Pen strokes fleeing
Just like us
Let's keeping running [writing, maybe? I like running, though...]
Forever and ever

Hold me now
Before it's over
Don't let go
Or we'll fall forever

Know-It-All

Hey there loser
I see you're not at school today
I can't help but wonder why
Hey there loser
I know we haven't talked much
But I can't help but try

'Cause you're so cool
I just wanna know
And I know I keep sayin' that
But I'm just not sure where to start
With your family and friends
Where like to eat
Why you like orange
Your favorite game
And why that game?
There's just so much
and I wanna know it all
yeah, I wanna know it all

How are you
Did you have a nice weekend
DId you spend the day outside
Hey there dude
I'm reaching out to you now
And I could use a little feedback

'Cause you're so cool
I just wanna know
And I know I keep sayin' that
But I'm just not sure where to start
With your family and friends
Where like to eat
Why you like orange
Your favorite game
And why that game?
There's just so much
and I wanna know it all
yeah, I wanna know it all

These words
They're my message to you
if you could answer them
that'd be cool
.......
I guess

'Cause you're so cool
I just wanna know
And I know I keep sayin' that
But I'm just not sure where to start
With your family and friends
Where like to eat
Why you like orange
Your favorite game
And why that game?
There's just so much
and I wanna know it all
yeah, I wanna know it all

I wanna be your little know-it-all

MAKIN' A COME BACK

YES ALL THE MILDLY LYRICAL THINGS THAT HAVE NO TUNES

if I were to speak
how would you?
My thoughts are private
Too secret to see
but what if I told you
the crazy thoughts inside
would you stay beside me
or would you run away?

overwhelmed
breathe and chest is heavy
what is this feeling
i don't know this feeling
i don't like it

you're so close
i could touch you
could ruffle your hair
whisper your name
but I am scared
of your rejection

overwhelmed
breathe and chest is heavy
what is this feeling
i don't know this feeling
i don't like it

please reach out
just please say you care
tell me you're there
before it starts again

overwhelmed
breathe and chest is heavy
what is this feeling
i don't know this feeling
i don't like it

Illegals

Sci-fi story! Yeah, I wrote this for class. I don't feel like formatting it right now. Sorry. .__.

2027: The world’s population has nearly tripled. Scrambling for a solution, politicians look to China in the year 1970 and think it didn’t look quite so bad. So the one child policy was set around the world. Couples are allowed but one baby and any children after that are killed via a lethal injection. Though the plan seemed to be working as the population slowly steadied over the years, safe houses all over the world are set up to house illegal children.

Who knew it would come to this? Strapped to a chair and waiting to die. Of course, most illegals would expect this at some point. I guess maybe I thought that because I’d met Heidi, things would be okay. She wasn’t like me, so maybe she could change things. But she couldn’t. Nobody could change things for us.

It began with a jar of peanut butter. Living with a house of picky kids like the others and I did, it was essential that we always had it. I was the only one not doing anything at the time, so I was sent out to get it. Being as old as I was, I usually helped out anyway, so it wasn’t a big deal. I also really liked getting out of the house, even if it did mean wrappin’ up the ol’ chest and dressin’ like a boy.
Yeah… that probably needs an explanation.
Thanks to the whole “one child policy,” girls are pretty few and far between. I mean, they’re still all over the place, but there are just more boys. Once couples could only have the one kid, a lot of people decided that they’d rather have a boy. This, of course, made blending in as a girl a lot harder, so most of us illegal girls dressed like guys. I was one of the luckier ones because I actually kind of looked like a boy with my short messy do.
The grocery store wasn’t too far away from the shack where we lived, but I had to walk a long ways and then circle back to make it look like I lived further away. It was part of my cover story as the son of an elderly couple. I even had an alias: Kyle, as opposed to my actual name Katelyn. (None of us are very creative.) It sort of explained why I showed up only once in awhile and people accepted it. Town was pretty much the same as the adults described the forty years ago; 2 story buildings, sliding doors. It didn’t seem all that fantastic to me, yet the people on the wrist TVs I saw in town kept ranting about how far we’d come.
I’d gotten the peanut butter and was checking out when I ran into Heidi. She was deep in the thought and wandered into line ahead of me. Normally, I guess a person might just tap her on the shoulder and ask her to move to the back, but… I wasn’t exactly the best at containing my temper.
“Hey!” I yelled at her. “What do you think you’re doing?”
She jumped. It made me more upset, despite already knowing she wasn’t paying attention. I had a lot of anger and it needed some redirection; I couldn’t take it out the kids or the adults, so this girl had to pay the price. Her features were instantly painted with regret and apologies.
“Sorry, sorry!” she squealed, backpedaling. “I was just so lost in thought, and… and… I’m sorry!” Her demeanor was that of a kid back home that I really liked. He was really spacey and would end up apologizing profusely if he wasn’t paying attention to what you were saying or ran into you. My attitude toward this chubby girl softened and my face must have followed suit because then she relaxed. She smiled at me sheepishly.
“I really am sorry,” she told me, her face a little pink. “Can I get you lunch to make it up to you?”
The gesture surprised me, but I’d been taught to never decline free food.
“Uh, sure, just lemme get this,” I said, holding up the peanut butter. She grinned and stepped out of my way. While I was checking out, she ran back to the shelves and was putting all of her items back. It weirded me out even more, but whatever—she was buying me food!
We introduced ourselves as we walked. The two of us ended up at a little street café with the menus in the tables. You simply typed in what you wanted and the order was sent to the kitchen. I’d seen them while walking around, but never actually used one before. Heidi seemed to pick up on this because she kept giggling when I got excited over typing out a couple different orders before I finally sent one back.
“Never been to one of these, huh?” she asked.
“Uh… no,” I replied. “My parents and I don’t eat out much. They’d rather just stay home.”
“You live with your parents?”
“Yeah. They’re old and have issues doing stuff, so… I help.”
It kind of was the truth—the adults were like my parents. And most of them were pretty old by now. Some could even remember when cell phones first came out. I’d never had one of my own, but it was still mindboggling that they could be so old.
“Aw, that’s so sweet!” she said, fiddling with the hem of her sleeve. She seemed really nervous and I wasn’t sure why. Maybe she wasn’t around people much, just talking—I knew that was why I was so nervous. I was always busy and never had time to talk just for the sake of talking. But here was an opportunity! And I couldn’t think of what to say. I wanted to blab about everything I’d gone through, but if I did, she might tell or someone else might hear. And then I’d send a bunch of kids to their death.
I shuddered at the thought. Heidi noticed.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, concern written all over her face.
“Uuuuuuuuuuh,” I drawled, unsure if I should tell the truth. I should’ve just spit out another lie, but I didn’t want to. That was what I was supposed to do, and suddenly, I didn’t want to. I looked around, trying to find some answer. A park was across the street. Completely abandoned, I felt bad for it. And I wanted to take Heidi over there.
Just as I thought this, the food appeared. I looked down at it, then up at Heidi. She’d bought me food and I just wanted to leave. I picked at the sandwich I’d ordered and Heidi dug into her pizza. She got sauce all over her face but didn’t seem to care. It was then that I really looked at her and noticed the strange black spots. I mean, I’d seen them before but I thought they were just freckles. But they were blotchier and much darker than a blonde like Heidi should have had. So I asked her about them.
“Oh, these?” she asked, pointing to her face. “They’re tattoos. See, everybody used to call me ‘Dalmatian’—y’know, like the dog?—because I had all these freckles and so, a little while ago, I decided to get actual spots!” Her happy explanation became a pout. “I wanna get ears and a tail, too, but my parents are making me pay for it. So I’ve only got the spots for now.”
My eyes were wide. “Ears? Tail? Like… like a dog?”
She nodded, treating it like it was totally normal. “Yup. Plastic surgery isn’t as expensive as it used to be, but it isn’t just a nose tweak that I want, so it’s way more.”
She talked and I just sat and looked at her. I was lost in disbelief. Heidi spoke of it like it was no big deal. Was it? How could looking like a dog really be no big deal? She looked at me funny, like I was the weird one. Maybe I was.
“So, uh…” Heidi seemed lost for words now. Her anxiety was obviously back and she fidgeted.
I set the sandwich back down and looked over at the park again. I wanted to go there.
“Wanna go to the park?” I asked, not looking at her. I was suddenly as nervous about all this as she was. I wasn’t sure why she was, but I was definitely nervous about confiding all my secrets in one person. Or, really, confiding in anyone at all.
There was a sound of something else being sent to the table. I looked over and saw two little boxes made of some really degradable material that I wasn’t sure of. Heidi held one out to me.
“We could finish lunch over there,” she suggested, shrugging. I took the box and smiled.
“Cool.”

Once we were over there, I wasn’t sure that I could do it. We were sitting there contently, munching on our food. Why spoil it with nasty news like being an illegal kid? She didn’t need to know about that. And I certainly didn’t need to tell her.
Yet… I did. I wasn’t sure why, but I felt like I’d explode if I didn’t tell her.
“Heidi, I gotta tell you something,” I started, setting the remnants of my sandwich in the box on my lap. “I know we just met, but… I just gotta.”
She perked up and looked sort of excited for a moment before she seemed to catch herself. I didn’t understand why, but then, I didn’t really understand much at all about her.
“Y’see…well…” I lowered my voice, carefully watching for nosy listeners. “I’m… I’m an illegal.”
The words were out. And Heidi said nothing. She looked surprised---apparently she’d been expecting something completely different. I didn’t know what, but I didn’t blame her. Who would expect someone they’d just met to tell them that they were never meant to be born?
“I don’t know why I’m telling you this,” I explained, “I just had to tell somebody. I guess. It’s been too long.” I set the box aside and leaned over, resting my head in my hands. She probably didn’t understand what I meant by that. I mean, I hardly understood what I meant.
Surprisingly, though, she reached over and hugged me. It was kind of awkward, considering she was so much shorter than me and I was all hunched over, but still nice. I looked over at her and saw her face was all red.
“I’m… I’m glad you told me, Kyle,” she said. “And I’m glad you were born.”
With that, everything clicked. Her nervousness, the buying me lunch. I should’ve set her straight, but I was tired. It wasn’t like I’d ever see her again, anyway.

Someone enters my room. (Or, I guess, the room I’m borrowing for the time being.) It opens and I see a nice looking lady standing there. She seems so out of place here. I wonder if she’s got her own kids—kid, I correct myself—at home. Maybe she feels guilty about what she does because of them. I hope so. Because, then, I won’t die in vain.
The woman comes over and checks my vitals with a small device in her hand. She holds it over my bullet wound and smiles.
“All okay,” she tells me.
“Great,” I reply, my voice cracking. “Then I’ll die healthy.”
Her smile disappears and she quickly leaves the room.

Of course, I met with Heidi again. It was inevitable—more peanut butter, or maybe powdered milk. (A lack of electricity leads to a lack of refrigeration, which means no real milk.) But whatever the reason, we met in the park again, same bench as before. The tension was just as great as I remembered—her wanting to be close to me for reasons that I needed to set straight. But I still didn’t want to. What if her crush was all that kept her from telling? If that were true, than my telling her the truth would ruin everything. I could pretend to be Kyle with her. I’d pretended to be him with everyone else.
“So, what’s it like?” she asked, straightening her floral dress. Even though she never seemed nearly as girly as any girl I’d ever met, she still insisted on always wearing dresses. “Being an illegal, I mean.”
I shrugged. “I dunno. It’s just… life, I guess. You hide, you steal sometimes. Usually only if you need to.” I cringe a little. “It’s really, really loud, though, if you’ve just gotten a lot of babies.”
She laughed at this and I wasn’t entirely sure that was the response I wanted. But what should I care? Someone was listening and I didn’t think she was going to turn me in. I ignored the mean feelings that rose up in me and half-heartedly laughed with her. She didn’t notice, though, which was both a good and bad quality with Heidi.
“I wish my life was so exciting,” she replied, her eyes glazed over as she probably daydreamed. She was romanticizing the whole thing, I just knew it. “I just have to go to stupid cooking class.”
As if on a cue, her tiny little phone started to buzz in her pocket. She took it out and groaned; I knew what that meant. She’d go, I’d get my gross dry milk and we’d leave each other until the next time the shack ran low on something.
But, instead of leaving, Heidi hit ignore and sat where she was. I didn’t say anything and neither did she.
“I don’t like to cook at all,” she told me after a long while. “I just do it because my parents tell me I’m supposed to. Girls used to be able to be smart, y’know, be engineers and stuff. But now? Now we’re just supposed to cook and clean and be good little mommies to our one kid.” She stared off into space and I just looked at her. Maybe life wasn’t so great for Heidi after all.
“What do you like to do, then?” I asked. “What makes Heidi smile?”
Me, apparently, because she broke into a little grin.
“Computer stuff, mostly,” she replied. “I’m pretty good at hacking into stuff. I haven’t tried anything too big yet, but I’ve changed my grade in cooking class more than once.”
We both laughed at that. Things were easy, much easier than before. Maybe because both of us realized that we might not be so different after all.

We didn’t meet up again for another couple of weeks. I couldn’t find an excuse to get out of the house because one of our really, really old people had died. That meant I had to pick up the slack and go bury her because everyone else either couldn’t handle it or they were too old.
The body I was burying was that of Sara Goode. She hadn’t been quite as old as I thought, I guess, but her silver hair had told me wrong. She looked peaceful now, which was certainly different than she’d ever been alive. Sara was always stressed looking and yelled a lot. She was also the one that had started this all. She was the one that had taken me in when I was a baby. I thought maybe she was where I got my temper and determination from.
I dug the hole quietly and quickly. Carefully, I placed Sara’s body, wrapped tightly in a blanket, into the hole. I refilled the hole and stood there afterwards, just looking at the pile.
“Bye, Sara,” I said, picking up the shovel and heading home.

A few days later I finally got out to see her. Heidi was waiting on the bench, looking nervous and excited. I wondered if she had something “romantic” planned. I really hoped not. There was enough bad feelings in me right now; I just wanted to relax with her, not worry about sending the wrong message.
“Kyle!” she cried as I got closer. “C’mere! I made something!”
I sat beside her and she held out a little green bud. I thought it was a big seed or something at first, but when Heidi handed it to me, I realized it was metal. A tiny little metal seed.
“I want you to have it,” she told me.
I turned it over in my fingers, examining the surface.
“Uh…what is it?” I asked, trying my best to be nice. I knew kids got really upset if you asked what their drawings were supposed to be—were sixteen year olds like that, too?
“It’s a recording device,” she said. “Just put it in your ear and it’ll record anything. I tested it a billion times at home.”
“It records from my ear?” I asked, looking at her. “Why not from my mouth or something? Wouldn’t that be better?”
She shook her head. “It connects with the brain. See, that way you can record without anyone knowing.”
I was so confused. How could something so small do that? Was it even possible? I never had gone to school (for obvious reasons) so I only learned from what I heard in town or from the adults. How could Heidi even make something like this? I asked her.
“It’s all really, really complicated. Just lemme show you.”
She pulled a small laptop out of her purse and opened it on her lap. While it booted up, she took the little green device and touched a few spots. It lit up a little, then went dark again. She handed it back to me.
“Put it in your ear and think ‘connect.’ Think it until I tell you to stop.”
I nodded, doing as she told me. I thought the word over and over again, waiting for her to tell me to stop.
“There!” she cried. “Stop. It’s connected. Now, just think. Think about stuff. Anything.
I froze, unsure of what to think about. What did I want Heidi to see? I started to think about Sara, though, without even trying. How she took me in. Named me and took care of me for twenty-odd years. And how she was gone. Just… gone.
I thought about Sara for about ten minutes before Heidi stopped me. I looked at her, surprised.
“What?” I asked. “Isn’t it working?”
“It’s working fine,” Heidi told me, not looking at me, “it’s working just fine, Katelyn.”
I jumped. She’d used my real name! Was that in there? I’d accidentally spilled the beans. I tried to relax, but couldn’t help but chew on my bottom lip. Was she upset? It seemed like she was. She wasn’t talking and wouldn’t look at me. I sat quietly, waiting it out. It usually worked with angry kids at home and had worked with me in the past.
“I’m not mad,” she said eventually. “Not really. I just wish you would’ve told me you were a girl.”
I shrugged. “Sorry… it’s just safer to be a boy. They’re all over the place, aren’t they?”
“I guess they are,” she agreed. Heidi turned the laptop off. “If you ever want to connect and write something, just think ‘connect.’ My laptop will automatically boot up and record it all. It doesn’t even have to be in complete sentences.”
She was quiet again.
“I’m sorry about Sara,” she told me.
“Me, too,” I replied.

The raid was unexpected. I didn’t even know I’d spilled the beans for everybody until the gunshots started. That sound threw everyone into action—kids started running every which way. We’d all been taught since we’d gotten here where to run if we had to leave. It was the first thing a kid learned, even before they were reading. Survival was always more important to us than reading.
I didn’t get as far as I thought I would. Just a few feet from the shack they shot me down; it was a shot to the leg. Not deadly, but it hurt a whole lot. The kids that were further away weren’t so lucky: Most that were shot didn’t get back up. Others went down and moaned. I knew they wouldn’t be picked up, though. They’d be left as a warning.
A man dressed in black with his face covered came up to me and put something over my nose and mouth. It smelled sweet. A moment later, I was out.

Which brings us to the end. I sit now in a room with white walls, my arms and legs strapped down tight. The room is empty besides me and my chair, a little security camera in the corner, and a clock that ticks down the hours. I’ve been here at least two, I think. I think it’s odd that they use an analog clock (or at least that’s what I think they were called). Maybe it’s because they stretch the hours out so much more appropriately than a digital clock. I think it’s kind of nice and makes me feel more okay about the whole thing. It reminds me of home.
We had an analog clock when I was younger; somebody had saved it, I guess. I used to sit and watch the second hand. I found them so much more interesting than the angry red digital clocks. Eventually, though, it broke and we couldn’t get it fixed. Not only did no one even do that anymore, who else would have an analog but a bunch of illegals?
The lady comes back, a shot in her hand.
I watch the security camera. I hope I’m starting right into the eyes of the fat slob watching me. Do you feel guilty yet? I ask them. Do you wish you could change this?
This is it. Heidi, I hope you have this. I hope the little green metal seed actually works and that your laptop’s gotten this all.
The security camera wiggles slowly, side to side. Then, it goes faster. It wags. Wags like a dog’s tail. Like… like a dalmatian.
I break into a wide grin and the woman jumps. The people she deals with probably don’t smile much, so I’m not surprised. But I’m happy. So happy. She puts the needle into my arm and instantly I feel myself drifting. Wow, we were making advances. In a few minutes—maybe even thirty seconds!—I’ll be dead. So efficient.
I don’t know if the camera has audio or not, but I know Heidi’s little device will get it anyway.
“Bye, Heidi,” I say to the camera.
And then… dead.

Heidi Burton had hacked into the video system of the Executionary and fed the video from Katelyn’s room to every wrist television and phone and computer she could find. Millions upon millions of people saw and heard Katelyn’s goodbye. Heidi also published Katelyn’s story all over the internet. Every time it was taken up, it sprung up in a new place. Soon, others started to spread her story, too. There was nothing the governmennts of the world could do to stop the wildfire.
Due to public uproar, the one child policy is now under review.

POEMS.

These are bits from the Penpen story turned into poems because I couldn't think of a character to observe or a new scene. :C

------

Penny

New red hair and matching lips

Charcoal eyes that watch

She sits alone, stands alone

Without her best friend

Watching all that pass

Pen's a new person now

Bold outside, but less within

Still as a statue, she watches

And wonders.

Matt ~ Aftermath

(or, alternatively, Aftermatt. Nyaaa~)

They burn in her eyes

But she won't let them go

Won't embarrass him that way

Already their stares are felt

Their whispers heard

Then, an awkward pat

So familiar, yet different, better

Friendly, reassuring, she looks up

He smiles, trying to hide concern

Being the best happy sunshine he can

She's relieved; tears fall

Just as she does into him

-----

YAY POETRY?!

Penpen. Because I have no better title.

“Nooo, you can’t leave!” Penny wailed, latching herself onto her nearest and dearest friend, Nathan. Her hands locked together, creating a tight hold that he didn’t think he could get out of.

“Pen, look, I’m sorry,” he said, doing his best to console her with his arms pinned at his sides. “But I’ve got to. My dad’s got this new job and, well… there’s no helping it. I’ve got to move.”

Penny sniffled. Life would be so different without Nathan. Stupid Nathan’s dad! Why wasn’t the job he had now good enough? Without Nathan, she’d have to make new friends. A feeling eerily similar to a newly divorced woman being forced to date again overtook her.

Nathan fidgeted under her grip, looking around them. If Penny was so self-conscious, why wasn’t she being timid now? Everybody was staring at them. They knew the news, so no major rumors would start about this (hopefully), but Nathan still wished the eyes would stop looking.

“Get off,” he said gruffly, attempting to free his arms so he could pry her hands apart. “We’ve got band practice, Penny.”

She sniffled again, threatening to restart her sobs, but relented. He awkwardly patted her on the back; suddenly years of friendship seemed to disappear. He’d seen Penny upset before, but this was new. Was it really so terrible that he was leaving?

As they left school, Penny took Nathan’s hand in hers. He gave a heaving mental groan—great, like that would help keep the attention off of them.

X

“Come, yeah, come a little closer, darlin’,” Nathan sang, leaning into the mic stand. “We’ve got a secret here, yeah, a little secret here.”

Practice was going as usual. Penny had calmed down after a visit with Mr. Pooki. Pooki was the dog of Matt, the guitarist and resident of the house they practiced in. Currently Matt was wailing on guitar, his chords screaming in unison with Nathan’s vocals. Presently, Penny off to the side and kept the bass line steady. Even with her little episode, she was doing her best with the music. She was always the best in their group at that.

The song abruptly ended at the slamming of a door somewhere upstairs. The group of teenagers stopped dead, knowing what it meant: Shut up, my stories are on. A collective sigh was released.

“Well, at least we got a little practice in,” Matt said, taking off his guitar and turning off his amp. Penny silently did the same and began to put everything away. Nathan, Matt and the drummer, Chris, watched her quietly. Although Chris and Matt had missed the majority of Penny’s breakdown, they still knew something was up.

Matt, a big time talker, grew increasingly uncomfortable with the silence. He had to talk.

“So, uh, I think I found someone we could use as a singer,” he said without much thought. “He sounds a lot like you, Nate, so it should be an easy transi—”

Penny interrupted him with a sudden choking noise. She shook uncontrollably, her back turned to them.

The boys stood frozen for a moment, wondering what to do.

Nathan was the first to recover:

“I’ll go get Mr. Pooki.”

He jogged up the stairs, giving his defiantly sagging pants a harsh tug upward.

While he was gone, Matt carefully walked over to Chris, who had stayed put at his drum set.

“Dude,” Matt whispered his eyes widened a bit, “what was that?”

Chris shrugged. “No idea, man. No idea.”

X

Penny tossed her pencil on the floor. Stupid homework! All those number and crap made no sense! And why was she in the AP class, anyway? She wasn’t going to get any of it. And they’d given her summer homework, for Chrissakes. Whose bright idea was that?

She sighed feebly. Nathan’s. He’d been the one that’d gotten her into all of those smarty-pants classes she’d be taking in the coming fall. He’d gotten her there without actually being able to help. That jerk. What a jerk! Picking up her math book, she gave it a good chuck at the floor. It thudded heavily and even bounced. Penny would have been intrigued normally, but her grief consumed her thoughts.

Why’s he gone?! She mentally raged, tears stinging her eyes. I need him!

Her eyes wandered to her desk where an open notebook and pen sat untouched. She’d meant to write him the first day, but she couldn’t. While she missed him, part of her wanted Nathan to think she was okay. Maybe because she didn’t want him to worry—maybe because she thought it would help her actually be okay. Whichever it was, she hoped it was working.

X

Dear Nathan,

Hi bud! I miss you so, so much! I would’ve written sooner, but I’ve been busy with that dumb AP work. How’s stuff in the big city? Met anybody cool yet? I haven’t really ventured outside much. It’s been waaay too hot. I’ve barely been able to move and my mom still hasn’t given in and gotten any AC. I would be happy with one of those in-the-wall things right now. (Even though I’d probably have nightmares about it blowing itself up like in The Brave Little Toaster.)

Oh, dear… I don’t really have much to write about! Well, I hope you’re doing good and it’s cooler (literally and figuratively) where you are. Oh! And I haven’t had a chance to get to practice yet, but I hear that the new singer is pretty sweet. I’m sure Matt and Chris still miss you a lot, though.

Love,
Penny

X

No word. None. It’d been a week. Was the U.S. Postal Service so slow? It was called snail mail for a reason. Did Nathan really live so far away now?

Or… maybe he just wasn’t writing?

Penny sighed, plucking few strings on her bass. That was probably it. He was busy with his new life in the big city. He probably had a whole gaggle of new friends that were much cooler than her. Nathan was too busy having fun to write back to boring old Penny. He’d moved on.

A sudden anger filled her. How dare he! How dare he move on so quickly.

“Screw him, then,” she spat, tightening her grip on the beck of the bass guitar in her lap. “I’ll get a new life, too.”

She set her bass on its stand and went to the mirror in the bathroom. How could she change?

X

Matt heaved a great and frustrated sigh. The new guy, Jim, was all ready to go and so was Chris. But where was Penny? They’d understood for the first week or so because she had AP work to do (Matt and Chris, underachievers the both of them, assumed it was tough stuff that kept her busy), but now it was just weird. She’d said she was ready to come in. So where was she?

The incessant yapping of Mr. Pooki and opening of the basement door announced her arrival just as he was getting ready to send Jim and Chris home.

“Finally, Pen,” Matt complained, “where have you been?”

As she descended the stairs, Matt and Chris felt the need to double-take. Where she’d once had a long and messy blonde ponytail, Penny now had a stylish dark red bob that framed her face. They’d never seen her in make up, either, and yet her eyes were lined in black and her lips dyed red.

“What?” she asked, her tone annoyed. “Never seen a pretty girl before?”

She went to her normal spot and set up like normal, attaching herself to the amp and tuning. When she was set, she stood up and looked over at Jim.

“Hey,” she said, beaming confidently. “I’m Penny. Sorry we couldn’t meet sooner.” She offered a hand for him to shake.

Jim crossed the room to her and took it.

“Jim,” he replied, trying to find the Penny he’d heard about in this girl. “No problem. ‘S long as you’re here.”

Penny nodded, happy with this new singer so far.

"Now, how’s ‘bout we stop standing around and make some music?”

X

“What’s up, Penny?” Matt asked as he sat by her at lunch. “You’ve been weird all summer.”

“And you just got the guts to ask me now?” she asked, raising a snarky eyebrow.

He scrunched up his forehead. All summer he’d seen her and still he hadn’t grown used to this new Penny. It wasn’t unnerving or bad… just different and new. Confident and yet so off.

Penny looked at him a moment, trying to decide something. Then she sighed, putting her elbows on the table and her head in her hands.

“He hasn’t written once, Matt.”

It took him a moment to realize who she was talking about.

“Nate?”

She barked a laugh without humor. “No, the freaking president. Yes, Nate.”

Matt frowned a little bit. Why hadn’t Nathan written? He was Penny’s best friend. Sure, he’d moved pretty far away, but… that couldn’t have changed with a little distance, could it?

Penny seemed to read his mind.

“Maybe it’s all changed,” she said, staring at the table. She was quiet then, listening to the conversations around them. They were better than listening to herself right then. But Matt wasn’t saying anything, either. He was the chatterbox. Where were his words?

She turned to look at him and found him zoned out, staring at his shoes. She’d silenced Matt, of all people.

Amazing, she thought. Her gaze returned to the table. Might as well get the rest off my chest.

“And this new look… well, at first, it was me trying to move on. Change. Get a new life. It sort of worked: I like it, and so does my mom. She thinks I’m finally being girly. And maybe that’s true. I hated to seem girly around Nathan. He was always afraid we’d look like a couple or something.” She made a sudden choking noise. “Maybe this is the first time I’ve been me in a long time.”

This idea sunk in. Her best friend might have been changing her. Changing her a lot. Yet…

If this is the real me, though… why do I still feel so bad?”

Tears burned in her eyes for the umpteenth time in months. Sure, she’d been sensitive before, but this was just ridiculous. What was wrong with her? Her eyes bore into the table as she held the tears back. No need to cause a scene. Matt probably wouldn’t like that.

Then, a slow awkward pat on her back. It reminded her of the last time she’d been in school with Nate. Except this was nicer, friendlier. Like it was actually trying to help.

Penny looked up and saw Matt’s uncertain but concerned face. He gave a somewhat sheepish yet reassuring smile and Penny returned it in a slightly shakier, more near-tears form.

She leaned into him and let the waterworks begin.

OH HEY IT'S AN EXCERPT.

So, if you know me personally you'll probably know that I participated in NaNoWriMo back in November and while I didn't reach the goal of 50,000 words, I did write my longest work ever at around 30,000 words. Basically the book is about a girl who has always, always written stories and suddenly finds herself writing this big bad thing she calls Chuck back into existence to take over the world and cause bad things to happen. And now I'm looking over the entire thing for the first time since I guess probably February and I've looked over this nightmare scene quite a bit because I want it to sort of be...y'know, good. and I'm unsure of how to know if it's really good or not. So I thought HEY LET'S ASK THE PEOPLE. And by people I mean the people that may or may not read Authorly sometimes if I post it on Facebook.

AND SO HERE'S MY EXCERPT.

(By the by, Becky's the ghost girl that gave herself to the baddy to save a friend, blah blah, Henry is Sierra's ((the main character)) first friend in foheva. And by foheva I mean middle school.)

---

I was in my room, but it was stretched to the size of a football field. Piles of papers and books were stacked left and right, towering high above me. I was running through the maze of poorly built skyscrapers, trying to find a way out. All around me there was fire burning everything in sight. What’s going on? I thought in a panic.

I found my parents and cried out. They were screaming and I could see their skin just melting off their bodies in the most grotesque way possible. Becky ran through, her clothes aflame. Behind her was the faerie version of Chuck, its claw-like hands were on fire. It reached out for her menacingly as it flew after her, a crazy smile on its usually inspecting face.

I ran screaming from them, trying to escape both Chuck and the sight of my parents dying. Tripping over burning books and papers, I ran and ran until in one corner I found Henry. He was curled up in a tight ball, rocking back and forth rapidly with his back to me. I went over to him, tears streaming down my cheeks. I didn’t want him to be on fire. I mean, I cared about the others, too, but I really didn’t want him to be hurt. He was most important. As terrible as it might have sounded, he was more important than my parents. He was my best friend. The first friend I’d had in ages. I couldn’t lose him. Not now!

I reached out to him, my hand shaking. I was scared he was going to be hurt and I would just make it worse. Please be okay, I thought, crying a little harder, just please, be okay. I touched his shoulder and he turned his head to look at me. I leapt back and raised my hands to my mouth, letting loose a blood curdling scream. His eyes were just balls of great orange fire, leaping out of his head to bite at my hand.

“Help me, Sierra,” Henry said pitifully. “Help me.”

I recoiled from him, the tears coming in even greater streams now. What was I supposed to do? How could I stop this? Henry moaned at my feet, reaching out for the help he sought.

Why would you stop it? A sly voice purred in my head. You started it, Sierra. This is all your doing.

I jerked back a few more steps. What was that voice? And what did it mean; I was the cause of this? I looked down at my hands and screamed. They were on fire like everything else, but I didn’t feel the burn of the flames on my fingers like Becky and my parents and Henry did. I screamed and screamed and screamed myself hoarse until the fiery skeletons of my parents, Becky, and Henry were surrounding me. I tried to scream more, but my throat was torn to ribbons. I couldn’t scream anymore. I couldn’t! Before I could do anything to try and stop them, the skeletons had engulfed me and I was burning for real now, the flames licking my body with a full intent of killing me. I sobbed silently as I burned and burned…